petty and correct
small claims docket
notice to all parties: this docket is satire, not counsel. nothing here is legal, financial, or professional advice. these are personal opinions, not judgments about anyone's character based on income, and not a dig at any specific brand, trademark, or patent — just patterns, observed. take it as entertainment, not testimony.
The Broke-Professional Feedback Loop
financial stress doesn't stay contained to your bank account.
Buy The Section Now, Pay For It Later
the club version of buy now, pay later.
The Science of Club Stink
no lab coat, just a nose and a theory.
The Incredible Ick List
a running docket of offenses against vibes.
Classism and EDM
the guest list was never just about capacity.
Bring Back Dancing
a case for moving your body instead of filming it.
I Hate Small Talk
the weather is not a personality.
Not Checking Your Bank Account Keeps You Broke
avoidance is not a budgeting strategy.
The Convenience of Autofill
your card shouldn't be this easy to forget you're using.
Even the Scammers Are Broke
even the scammers had to downsize.